I started out from Florida last Saturday with my trusty sidekick, Mojo and a borrowed Garmin GPS navigator with the British accent to guide me along this epic trek to the motherland... Iowa. Northwest Iowa. That means cold. That means REALLY incredibly bone-freezing nose-numbing frostbitey ice-dagger-through-your-chest cold. Sub zero... sometimes WAY sub zero. Arctic-style freeze-your-ass-off cold.

Did I mention that it's cold here? Unless you don't think -30° F (wind chill) is DARN COLD!!!!!!!!! Just a simple little smoke break requires major bundling and donning of heavy apparel and covering all exposed skin except for your lips, which become numb within seconds. 

Other than the cold, this has been a good trip overall, with some nice, warm and fuzzy quality time with the fam. (it's REALLY warm in the house... about 900° F. OK, maybe not 900... but at least 90.) Mom and Dad and TD have all been a real joy to be around, and there's been some serious laughter action. TD is home from France for his long holiday break and is basking in the family bonding thing, which is so cool. He is very close to his grandparents and morphs into a little Iowan when he's here, doing the accent to a tee. He and I go into full-on Fargo mode when we're together in Iowa, and the nice thing is that the locals don't even blink an eye - they just think we sound "normal". (they also don't blink an eye because they can't when it's this cold - the eyes freeze, too.) 

Oh, there was the little incident yesterday as I was driving through the neighboring town, only 12 miles from my final destination (after 2803 miles of driving on this trip so far) when a little old lady in the oncoming traffic lane decided to turn in to her driveway right in front of me on a VERY icy road. Well, my little Honda went "Weeeeeee!!! We're skating!!!!!"... and SMASH! Yep, I hit her, as my evasive maneuvers were fruitless on that ice rink they call a street. Fortunately, I was already driving like a little old lady, myself, only going about 25 mph, as I'm a chicken on ice. Therefore, no one was hurt, and Mojo hardly even noticed. While the lady and I waited for the cops to arrive, we were chatting in her warm kitchen. When she told me her name, I thought it sounded vaguely familiar, so I asked her if she knew my parents. Her jaw dropped, and she said, "Oh my gosh! Your mother is in my book club!" 

What a hoot. She was very sweet and felt so bad about the accident. Turns out she had just returned from the cemetery to put a wreath on her recently late husband's grave. She fell in a snow drift and it "shook her up", so she felt that was why she wasn't really paying attention when she went to turn into her driveway. In true Iowa fashion, we both sat there and comforted each other, both apologizing for the inconvenience of it all. 

The front right part of my car is a bit crippled now, but the headlights still work, tho the passenger door won't open. The nice man at the body shop in the neighboring town pulled and bent a few things so that the metal is no longer rubbing on the tire. So poor little Honda has had her share of attacks this year (a guy in Florida whacked her on the other side in February). Too bad cars can't get a Purple Heart or some automotive equivalent. 

So tonight was Christmas Eve, and it was all very lovely, indeed. We did our usual thing - put on a Christmas CD with the classics like Bing Crosby and Dean Martin, et. al., gathered around the tree, ate the same hors d'oeuvres we've been eating for about 40 years (the food of my people - smoked oysters, pickled herring, vienna sausages from a can, cheese and crackers), sipped on cocktails (beer for TD & me, brown whisky drinks for Mom and Dad), told the same stories of Christmas's past... then opened presents! TD is still designated as the "present giver-outer" and still performs the task with grace and aplomb. After the wrapping paper is all on the floor and/or TV trays (which are strategically placed everywhere), we retire to activities that usually involve enjoying a new gift - tonight it was the Bob Hope 4 DVD set, including everything Bob Hope ever did. After the first half of the first DVD, TD and I both found ourselves migrating to other areas of the big house to do anything that didn't involve watching more Bob Hope. Mom and Dad enjoyed it immensely, tho, and that was the objective anyway. 

Once again, I find myself sitting here in this big old house and realizing just how lucky I am to have this kind of family - one that truly cares about and loves each other, and who values the traditions we've created together. I'm also thrilled that my son and my nieces are on board with the tradition thing - even more than their parents sometimes. I wonder what their family Christmas's will be like when they have their own families and we "elders" are gone. I'm guessing they'll have those fabulous flying cars by then to get back and forth to the holiday festivities, but I'm fairly sure that there will be pickled herring showing up at some of these shindigs, as well as Bing Crosby singing "White Christmas" on whatever sound system will prevail at that time. That's pretty cool. 

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and Happy Whatever you might choose to celebrate this time of year! Peace-out on earth.